The glamorous life of Sachiko Hanai
Yes this is an abuse of power. No I don't care. Everybody needs to see this movie. Including myself. "Four stars. A weird, hilarious wet dream for intellectuals." Japan times I'm copying a post that I wrote from one of Dales threads. When I asked him about his avatar. I would've never guessed that it would've led me to quite possibly the most intelligent film that I've ever heard of in years. (Hell, I was only expecting to discover a new hottie to whack off to. Turns out I got that & even more.) The movie is called THE GLAMOROUS LIFE OF SACHIKO HANAI This trailer is pure genius. http://www.palmpictures.com/film/the-glamorous-life-of-sachiko-hanai.php (Click the video in that page.) It starts off with a patriotic shot of the American flag & the heroine singing the national anthem. The screen eventually zooms out & we find out that American flag is actually a tattoo on her ass, LOL! After that shot of her ass we're treated with a quote by Albert Einstein. "Force always attracts men of low morality." LOL, that's just goddamn insane. I need to learn more about Mitsuru Mieke, because this guy is a classified genius. More Trailer links http://www.argopictures.jp/movie/hanai.asx http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxy9ysMgC6w Midnight eye itself has described the intent of this film best as "a political critique imbedded in an experimental surrealist narrative." I haven't seen the movie, but is sure as hell looks like it when you read about the story & watch the trailer. Note: If even Midnight eye likes this movie. http://www.midnighteye.com/reviews/the-glamorous-life-of-sachiko-hanai.shtml Than damn this must be one kick ass trippy movie. Midnight eye basically hates anything that isn't by Beat Takeshi or Takashi Miike. The most hilarious thing about this Glamorous movie. Is that the only reviews that gave this movie a low score. All had the same thing in common. They were all too stupid to realize that they were the cruel butt of the joke that the movie was making fun of. They could only see what was in front of them, & not the actual message. The message being: The world has gotten so ignorant &/or careless in foreign relations, world politics, & other misc. views. That even a random sexy curvy ass whore from a porno. Comes off as far more intelligent than the average tax paying citizen of planet Earth. Also the movie seems to be making fun of how hostile foreign relations have gotten since Bush took office. Instead of going into a typical liberal diatribe/rhetoric. The movie shows off how ridiculous foreign relations have gotten, by portraying a cloned Bush finger as a trigger to a nuclear bomb that a North Korean agent is dying to get his hands on. Or at least that's what I assume this movie to be about. Just judging from the plot synopsis & all. This is my favorite bad review. http://www.amazon.com/review/R3MSFOZTG49XK8/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm 4 of 12 people found the following review helpful: 1.0 out of 5 stars one of the worst movies I've ever seen, May 13, 2007 By yemeth So, the story behind this movie seemed interesting; a director has to make a "pink film", and uses it to convey his own message, to develop his own movie in between the softcore sex scenes. But he gets everything wrong from the beginning to the end. Well I should be fair; we couldn't even make it to the end of this movie. Surprisingly bad acting is coupled with random sentences which try to sound intellectual; however, in practice this "intellectual" part is probably the deeper dumbness you can find in an already dumb script. As if this wasn't enough, the movie is wrapped in an unpleasant sexist concept around sex scenes, which gets to its climax in a trivialized rape sequence which made us viewers think now the movie wasn't even worth to make fun of anymore. The reply to his review basically said everything that I wanted to say about his dumbass. Steward Willons says: It's called irony. Political satire mixed with zany sex in an experimental/exploitation package. Certainly nobody is required to like this film, but calling it "dumb" is to miss the whole point. Irony is what allows us to differentiate between a regular exploitation film and something like this - there is a message and there are multiple levels of reading the film. Seriously how could you not tell that this film is actually political satire especially when the heroine quotes Noam Chomsky during sexual intercourse. Most people don't even know who Chomsky is. Which is the entire irony of the whole thing. We care more about the what Paris Hilton has to say over the likes of Chomsky. (Simply because of his supposedly "extreme liberal" views. Despite the fact that he's not a liberal at all. He's a free thinker.) For a porno movie to be quoting Chomsky. You just know that the guy who wrote that. Did it for the pure irony. This is what true political satire looks like. A typical buffoon would've wrote typical "Bush sucks" leers. A typical buffoon would've wrote that horribly written Killer 7 comic book. A genius knows how to cleverly construct conflicting ideas together into a single entity & make it Funny/Badass as hell, hah hah. ----------------- The following was copy & pasted from forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=788" target="_blank">http://killer7.6.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=788 This lovely young lass is from this soft core porn film that was reviewed on Kung Fu cult cinema. I forgot its name I'm gonna keep looking for it on the site. With the way you described it. I instantly knew you were talking about a pinky film. So I looked up pinky & kfc & bam The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai http://www.kfccinema.com/reviews/comedy/glamorouslifesachiko/glamorouslifesachiko.html Official site http://www.glamorousmovie.com/ Sachiko (Emi Kuroda), a call girl who specialises in tutor / student fantasies, is shot in the head whilst waiting for a friend in a cafe. Still, she escapes the melee and, somehow, doesn't die; instead, our shell-shocked heroine ends up having sex with a cop. Awaking, the following morning, with an unsurprisingly sore head, Sachiko is shocked to discover a bullet hole in her forehead: like any normal person, she sticks a ballpoint pen into the hole, inadvertently pushing the bullet further into her brain and giving herself special powers! Armed with a staggering intellect, foresight and a hunger for knowledge, Sachiko turns her huge appetite to the musings of Chomsky, Kant, Sartre and Sontag, as well as the metaphysical theories of a local university professor, Saeki (Yukijiro Hotaru). After tracking Professor Saeki down (and by 'tracking down' I mean having sex, whilst discussing the philosophies of reality and existence), Sachiko takes a job tutoring his son, but trouble is on the horizon. It would appear that Sachiko has come to possess a clone of George W. Bush's finger, a finger which can be used to remotely launch America's nuclear arsenal and Kim (Takeshi Ito), a North Korean agent, wants to get his hands on it... WTF!!!! That is the most...... epic story I have ever seen. Seriously why have I never thought of this!? This is pure genius. Although I have created a character donned in a black suit & tie named Mamoru Sakuraba who quotes Descartes & also recites philosophies of reality and existence. (While getting a blow job from random whores. He usually kills them off afterward, because they usually fail to intellectually stimulate his mind. What nobody ever told Mamoru Sakuraba is that no woman or man can properly debate with a dick in their mouth, lol.) Seriously though back to that movie. That has the be the most insane, genius ass concept that I have ever seen or heard in years. BTW WTF is this It's just a pic of an ugly ass guy in his undies, but it's still pure gold. Damn I need to see this movie, BADLY! "Is it getting better & better. This is the Bush technique" Fuck though, I can't believe I never thought of this. A woman with big tits & ass who recites CHOMSKY while in the middle of an orgasm is just pure brilliance. It sure beats the hell out of my concept of seeing a philosophical nut job in a 3 piece Suit get a fellatio all the time. I love Pinky films. Which is why I also like the Oneechanbara games. (Coincidentally the Sachiko girl is also dressed like a Cowgirl stripper.) Since the basic design of the games are modeled after pinky films. (Although most dumb asses assume that Onee is modeled after anime. That doesn't even make any sense. Than again people say the same shit about Killer 7. IMO, K7 feels more like a Lynch/Miike film. With Tarantino's dialogue.) I need this movie. I could probably learn a thing or two from it. I've never seen anything that was as pure genius as this since Quick Girl. (Which also partly inspired Killer 7. Or at least I'd like to think it did.) The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai is already my favorite movie of all time, & I've never even seen it yet. Bye bye to Leon the Professional & Audition this is my new top film. (I still have a soft spot for Ninja Scroll though.) Glamourous life has to be the most clever political satire that I've ever heard of in years.

...wow.

I would NEVER EVER make a full judgement of a film BEFORE seeing it. I mean unlike Epic movie, this film looks like it might not be what you see in the trailers originally. I mean it might just be some girl spouting smart crap out while getting it on. I'm certainly excited for the movie too, but I never pass full judgement until I see the film. I mean, even though I KNEW Epic Movie was going to be a piece of trash, I never knew that moviemaking could seriously sink as low as that movie did. I mean really, it's like being excited to see a movie that looks good, but I thought it looked bad to begin with. Epic Movie blew away my expectations for suckitude. The only thing worse would be....wow I really can't think of anything, and I've seen pterodactyl people having sex with a woman, I've seen guys cutting up THEIR OWN weiners, I've seen guys cutting their weiners and balls OFF, as well as an abortion (which was truly horrible)...but it still wasn't as bad as Epic Movie. I'm serious. At least those other horrible things had an actual true reaction from me. Epic Movie just gained more and more hatred for itself as it went along. ANYWAY! If one wants to see my review for Epic Movie, check out my blog for it here... http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=27725169&blogID=317714653 There is no way to descirbe my hatred for things like Epic Movie...it's just not possible. I could go on for hours about how awful it is, but I'm sick of doing so. Enjoy if you want. And thanks for the comment Lisker. :P

Dude!!! Don't trash Epic movie, it's like getting a handjob by a homeless person, then finishing up and noticing it's really a hot lady! That's what epic movie's like! Hot handjobs! And rapping goatpeople! Equally hot!

Yeah the worst part was the fact that they used the cameos AS the joke. they didn't have a cameo of a character and then do something funny with it, they thought that if James Bond and Borat stood around and said lines that they say in their own respective films then THAT would be as good of a joke as you can get or something. And yet, talk about cliche bullcrap. That movie references some of the suckiest crap anyway...MTV Cribs and Punkd?!!?! Come on man.

Dude, it was AWESOME. Admittedly, they weren't the grea-*test*-('") impresions in the world, but they weren't that bad, so I thought that was pretty funny. I was like "hey! That's a pretty fucking adequate Borat impression!! Funny ass shit!"

WTF, can somebody please explain to moi why this pic was deleted from my photobucket account? I don't see how that's violating p.buckets tos at all. Unless they happened to be conforming to the middle east's sense of standards in regards to how a women should be dressed. (I had to reload that image to my K7 SIN site.) I would NEVER EVER make a full judgement of a film BEFORE seeing it. I mean unlike Epic movie, this film looks like it might not be what you see in the trailers originally. I'm a bit offended by how y'all are bringing up Epic movie in this thread. As if they were even on the same level. That's like bringing up Wind Waker & Killer 7 in the same thread, simply because they're both cell shaded. (Wind waker is just a video game. Killer 7 is a political debate in the form of a video game.) They're completely different from each other. Epic Movie is a parody. (Mindless bullshit.) This movie is satire. (Satire is usually relevant commentary which masquerades as mindless bullshit. Perfect examples South Park, The Simpsons, Futurama, It's always sunny in Philadelphia.) Satire usually has a message that is hidden away due to the way it's presented. Even the K7 SIN website is a pretty decent example of satire. Anybody who actually takes the scrolling red text in my site seriously. Is actually being made a fool, since I pretty much just wrote random insane gibberish in the red text. (Yet some people still try to make fun of the K7 SIN for using such outdated html codes that nobody uses anymore, because they failed to understand the punchline. Only insane people would actually try to convey a message through scrolling text. Which is why the actual dialogue in my scrolling text looks the way it does.) My most successful form of K7 SIN satire was the K7 SIN site awards. forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=583" target="_blank">http://killer7.6.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=583 I still laugh my ass off at some of the end results. (More specifically some of the edits done at IGN.) I dled Glamourous life yesterday, because I spent the money that I was going to use for this movie on Firepro Wrestling. Even before I downloaded this movie I knew exactly what I was getting into, because every single movie critic who I consider as an intellectual snob actually got a kick out of this movie. Chances are if people who are even more snobby than I am love this movie. Than I know I will myself. Since I have lower standards then they do. I'm a tweener. I have way more artistic sense then the average person, but I'm not stuck up the ass enough to ever suggest that all films be a Merchant Ivory production. http://www.merchantivory.com/ If even people on the level of Merchant Ivory love this movie, than I sure as hell know that I will myself. (Our video game equivalent of Merchant Ivory would be.... There is no video game equivalent. That's how poorly written vid games are. Grasshopper manufacture is the only dev team that even comes close to maintaining a trademark theme, style, & presentation. Even then, GHM has only made 4 artistic games. 5 if you include NMH.) Anyway I only watched the first 15 min. The first 8 mins. is porn. The movie doesn't really get interesting (conceptually, since it's already sexually intriguing, lol.) until the movie all of sudden transforms into a Yakuza movie. (Which happens at the 15 min. mark. The movie has trippy music like an Earthbound game. (Or a Suda 51 game for that matter.) I fast forwarded through to see what the later parts of the movie are like. They make fun of a shit load of "Bushisms" Such as "My only intention is to have neutral friendly wars." I mean it might just be some girl spouting smart crap out while getting it on. That is true to a certain extent, but that's what makes this film so damn hilarious imo. If you're one of those people who thought this line from Futurama was funny. "Leila: Quick there's a political debate on. Change the channel! Bender: That's funny. That's exactly what Fry said when the debate came on!" The punch line: Both Leila & Fry said the same exact thing. With the same exact wording, but the irony is that it was being used in different context. (Leila wanted to see the debate. Fry lock changed the channel earlier because of the debate.) Despite the fact that both Frylock & Leila said the same exact thang. Then you'll get a kick out of GLamorous life of Sachiko Hanaii, because it has humour that's just as mature & layered as a Futurama episode. It's hilarious the same exact way Metal Gear Solid is hilarious. Glamourous has some severely dramatic dialogue at parts. The main difference between this & MGS is that Glamourous knows it's a joke. (Thinking about it. I'll take back every negative thing that I have said about MGS if Hideo Kojima comes out and claims that his entire MGS series is actually satire.) It's the utter bizarreness of the setting, dialogue, music, & presentation that holds this film together There's even a part where G.I. Joe toys are screaming for their life because the nuclear finger has been launched. That last time I ever seen anything this bizarre, but so well put together was Vermilion Pleasure Night. (Quick girl to be exact.) Which was another show that I brought up along time ago, because it was one of the influences for this website. (VPN & K7 have a lot in common.) I'll type in a mini review of what I thought about this movie later this week. Whenever I get around to watching it. I'm actually planning on watching both this movie & Muholland Drive later on this week I'm just way too occupied with Fire pro right now. BTW Sachiko Hanaii actually tries to kill herself later on in the movie, but I won't spoil the rest.

Watched it yesterday morning. It's about a 3 1/2 out of 5. (I docked half a point off from the score, because Sachiko never wore this hot Oneechanbara outfit in the movie.) Although if you ignore my desire to see her cosplay as Aya Ayame, then this film would be a legit 4 out of 5. Is it as good as Vermilion Pleasure Night? No, not even close. In a way I feel that this film is a bit overrated simply because it's the only thing of it's kind out here in the West. (It feels like the random ass shows that sometimes airs late at night on Japanese satellite tv.) Sachiko's good, but as a porno it kinda sucks. (The sex scenes are way too brief & short, but you do get shit loads of full frontals though. Nice bush if I may add, & I'm not referring to the president either.) As a comedy. I feel that it's way too distant or eccentric for most audiences to enjoy. I can definitely see why this is labeled as a comedy for intellectuals. You're not going to get much laughs out of this unless you're already familiar with the philosophies & scholars that she constantly references. I was rotfl when she quoted Descartes all of a sudden & shouted out "Cogito, Ergo Sum. I think, therefore I am." The way she said was just so sudden. It made moi go wtf!!? My other fave convo is when this metaphysics guy has an argument with his wife about Noam Chomsky. Wife: "Who's Noam Chomsky?" Professor: "He's no one dear." Wife: "Yes he is. Who's Noam Chomsky! Why do you get like that every time Sachiko says his name!!?" Professor: "Noam Chomsky is an American Scholar." Wife: "NO HE'S NOT. YOU'RE LYING TO ME!!!" It's hilarious to moi, because the professor is actually telling the truth, but his wife won't listen. She think's Chomsky is some kind of pimp. While they're having that argument. Sachiko Hanai is actually teaching their son about world geo politics & military strategy. She strips off a piece of clothing for every answer that he gets correct. This movie is not all fun & games though. Much of what is being said in the movie is actually relevant. She even brought up the issue about how Japan needs to beef up her defenses, because of the changing climate in geo politics. IMO this movie could've been so much more had it been funded with a Takashi Miike budget. (There's only so much that you could do with the funding available for a porn movie.) There's this one part where a TV teleports in all of a sudden containing the image of George bush jr. spouting his rhetoric. The final part of the movie was like a Suda 51 game. You hear the American anthem, & see an American flag, which is revealed to be a tatoo on Sachiko's ass. You then see her flying through space. She grabs the planet earth, & drops it inside her bullet hole. The world explodess & WTF I don't know. Weird shit happens. Oh yeah I forgot to mention that before the credits role an annoying ass nanpa guy tries to flirt with Sachiko. He seemed all happy that he was going to treat her to dinner & shag afterwards. Unfortunately for him you see a couple of nukes raining down on Japan. Before he even got a chance to shag. (Sachiko inserted the George Bush finger into this Russian computer console that activated all of the worlds nukes to obliterate every single majour city in the world. The badass N. Korean yakuza guy only wanted the finger as leverage to gain some political pull over the United States. Sachiko is just, just... fucked up in the head, and activated the finger. BTW The tall, badass Korean Yakuza got gunned down by these N. Korean female agents. It's not all bad though. The Korean Yakuza guy did steal one of Sachiko's panties, and he grabbed one last sniff before he bit the bucket, lol.) All in all, Sachiko Hanai does kick shit loads of ass. However I can't recommend it, simply because the subject matter of the film would go way over most people's heads. (As shown by some of the negative reviews that this film has received.) Sachiko Hanai isn't one of those comedies that tells you when to laugh. Sometimes the jokes take you awhile to compute before you even get the punch line. This film is also a good source to look into the who's who, in the world of philosophy. I'm unfamiliar with the majority of the Chinese philosopher's that she quoted. So it does give moi some incentive to look up those cats whenever I have nothing else to do.