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Jedilink- 12-22-2006

The House of the Dead 2 movie was in a school for some reason...I don't know about the game. My friend gave me his copy since he also gave me his Dreamcast, but the disc is so scratched up, it won't work. They have a disc cleaner at Family Video down the street, mybe they'll let me try fixing it! :) I have now seen Bloodrayne!!!!! Yups! And sadly enough...........I paid a dollar to rent it! (It was 2.50 for the longest time but Boll isn't ridiculous enough even for that! :P) I gotta say that it's his best film so far. Seriously! Not that it's a GOOD movie.....but it's his best attempt at a good movie yet! One thing I LOOOOOOOOVED was the insane amounts of blood and gore that would fly outta people if someone would touch them with a sword....oh man it was hilarious!!! MULTIPLE decapitations throughout the film (all in fight scenes too :P), a man is SOMEHOW cut in half in what is probably one of the funniest parts of the film! Bloodrayne has sex with a main character, and even with Kristanna Lokken and all her hotness.....it was STILL really weird and creepy. Umm...what other craziness was there? Just basically my favorite parts were the fight scenes. Anytime someone would be TOUCHED with a sword their head would fly off, or they'd get cut in half, or (make that AND since it ALWAYS happened when someone would get hit with a sword) they would bleed a geyser of blood. I loved it, it was freakin hilarious. The end was great though (do I REALLY need to warn about spoilers? Does anyone really care anyway?). After the bad guys are dead and Bloodrayne saves the day, she sits down on the throne of the bad guy. Then all these flashbacks of the decapitations, head crushings, profuse bloody killings and on and on are just randomly played. She is sitting there thinking of all the gory, bloody, nastiness, and then she just leaves. Roll credits. All of this disgusting bloody mess, then you see her horse riding away and they show the credits. So basically she could've just sat there for a minute to chill out then left. But no since it's Boll, he has to show off his AWESOME directing skills and show all this craziness, THEN he can end the film! It's.....priceless. I don't know if he's joking about this crap or if he's REALLY trying to seriously make a good film or not, but I love it. Freaking hilarious through and through. Although, I was kind of shocked....this one didn't look like so much of a tv movie like his....well how all of his movies have looked. If he keeps getting bigger budgets and all that then he'll just start making bad movies rather than gloriously awful films! Don't get too high of a budget that you've forgotten how much you're supposed to suck! Your movies are SUPPOSED to look bad! That's why you're so popular Uwe! But seriously, don't start hiring people who know what they're doing, it'll mess up your vision! The movie might start looking good even if it is really garbage inside! Don't make polished turds! I just wanna look at it and see the poop outright! Come on man! Seriously. But yeah....I loove all the craziness in Bloodrayne. I'm showing this goofy flick to my buddies now! :P Oh, if you're on myspace, you would've (well SHOULD'VE) gotten a comment from me 2 days ago saying, Uwe Boll thinks you're cool!!!" Then it had a picture of him giving a thumbs up. If you didn't get this comment (Con_Smiths_Angel) it would've been because you disabled HTML. If anyone wants Dr. Boll gracing their pages, please let me know. I'd be happy to spread his,,,,insanity around! Thank you, and let's keep enjoying the dreck of cinema! :D

Jedilink- 03-21-2007

Anyone want to see a peek of Boll's newest....thing? Well here it is!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KvR0Wkbs6k Check this one out. It's a trailer for Postal...I'm not sure if any of this is supposed to be funny or offensive...but well, you be the judge and let me know if I'm insane for laughing at the suicide bomber guy (he's only in it for like a second before he blows up). that was kind of comical...The rest just looks insane...so yeah! Uwe Boll!!!! *vomits all over self*

Lisker- 03-21-2007

Meh. Looks kind of crappy. I guess Uwe Boll suddenly realized he sucked and decided to make a film capitalizing on it's shittiness. Still seems like one of those dumb flicks that tries to be as offensive as possible, you can generally see better examples of this made by high school film students.

True Grave- 03-21-2007

I wanna see BloodRayne now!

Jedilink- 03-27-2007

I thought the end of Bloodrayne was hilarious...like I need to care if I tell you the ending. Ok so after she wins and whatnot, she sits on the bad guy's throne chair thingy and they just start showing all of the random gore shots from the whole film in a montage. Then once they're done showing the montage, she leaves. So basically there was NO POINT to the entire montage. It's pretty funny. Oh, I also love how if the bad guy gets some body part or something, then something bad will happen...but they never explain if he'll get magical powers or something or if he'll destroy the world or what. You're just supposed to know that if he gets this...organ or whatever it was, then bad stuff will happen. Like anyone cared though. It's pretty goofy, watch it with some buddies. :P Have a laugh.

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